Bruised, Abused, and a ‘No’ to Suicide

here-and-now-413092_1920It’s disturbing how young actresses( Pratyusha Baneerjee) decide to end their life over an abusive relationship. It’s discouraging. I wished she had bugged her friends and family with her woes, cribbed about her relation till she felt better, blogged about it, ranted at length just to let it out of her system; she’d live longer! That thin line, one could stop crossing and preclude taking such drastic steps. Every industry has it’s own set of challenges. The idea of managing emotions and ambitions, per se, is a roller coaster ride for one and all. All of us have seen the blues, but what keeps us going is that one faint ray of hope thinking you came this far not to do away with your life but to reflect, retrospect, and improvise. This is no sensational wisdom, just a simpatico thought.

People fail to understand depression, especially, concealed depression. That’s because parenting is all about being self righteous (apparent from Hema Malini’s tweet about the actresses’ suicide). People rarely believe in a sense of free spiritedness. The way people in general respond to the very onset of depression is appalling, while those few sensitive souls do understand, thank god for that! It’s not something that can be cured with a pill.

Depression and mood swings are a chemical activity inside the brain not a character disorder or a result of damaged thinking. Not everybody is going to put their personal mayhem on their sleeves. But, there are signs of concealed depression that can be addressed by near and dear ones.

I seriously think, reading about lives of people and how they have coped up in tough times gives a lot of hope and will to survive in this world and take care of yourself. Self love, after all is not an ostentacious self indulgence. Most of us ignore self love and self awareness. Even the strongest have to be reminded of this when they hit rock bottom. All of us need that trusty side kick who can lift our spirits knowing and acknowledging that we are strong and able. Being depressed is not characteristic as most of them like to think. Depression is not a personality trait or an excuse, but a real thing most of the people in this world have no choice but deal and live with every single day. It’s a silent scream that nobody can hear. It’s a cry for help that nobody is aware of; not even those closest to you. That is the very nature of depression. It stays concealed and sometimes people don’t even realize how it affects their lives only because they are blissfully unaware that their mind is hit with depression.

With high level of stress, demanding jobs, lifestyle, and social pressures, depression is one thing I hope this society takes a serious look at. No matter how bruised or abused you are, no matter how tempting it seems to end your life, just put a lid on that thought, forcefully, if you have to, and say a strict ‘No’ to that moment of wanting to see the other side. You don’t deserve it, nobody does! Because, life is always willing to give you a fair chance!

The Symphony of Heart

I have never understood no strings attached relations. I wouldn’t even dare to try. Only because emotions feel good. They feel good because they are true. I am old school when it comes to relations. I have always believed in stability of relations. Isn’t that what matters in the long run? Why would you want to waste your time in associations that won’t turn into something meaningful. I belong to the era of millenials, but my heart belongs to an era where real relations were valued and had no interference or influence of the digi world.

It’s funny, when you look around, how these values stay in a penultimate shell. People do not want to believe real relations could exist, and that you are not one of those groupies you ‘chill out’ with. Strange as it seems, your desire to see a few things in black and white get colored by the external world. Those discoordinated colors that people fill just to get a kick out of it, do not realize, they are aching someone’s heart through to the core. Emotions are no fun to experiment. They are either there or ain’t there, there is no mid way in this.

Whether you succeed or you fail, love is all you need to make the journey worthwhile.

5 Wise Risks Independent Women Take in Life

Women do not need empowerment if they follow their instincts and waive the habit of second-guessing their hunch. “Directness in action,” ain’t a virile attribute anymore. When they start thinking for their own needs, without being a martyr, they exemplify being the stronger gender.

Being guided by intuition

Did you ever have a hunch about something and you dismissed it by rationalizing it? Did you feel better when you chose to survey your perceptions? It felt right, didn’t it, being guided by intuition? That is one of the risks we dare to take without being skeptical about it. When we work on what feels right and take action, that is when we emerge from being a cliche.

“Taking action,” is not a manful propriety. It is a bold chance independent women take as a result of having strong conviction. When autonomy becomes your sole prerogative, it gives women lesser odds of permitting smacks of abuse of any kind.

Being assertive

Assertiveness comes from a mere ability to say ‘No.’ A firm, polite, ‘No,’ to matters that do not coincide with your principles, beliefs or gumption. Women often feel guilty to upset anyone and sacrifice their chance to stand up for themselves. This lack of self-assurance is a gateway of being abused, deepening further into a web of emotional traps.

Assertiveness saves you from being sent on guilt-trips and vain vacations. This quality guards you against dissembling and manipulative people. When you listen to your gut, and assert yourself in any situation, you radiate into a stronger person.

Being directed by emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence is our will to analyse our feelings from a neutral standpoint. That way, we are neither being biased nor wallowed into self-pity. By thinking of solutions, to improve us internally, and learn to give life a fair chance without being dramatic.

It is a way of life that is bound to transform us into someone better, eventually. It makes our judgement sound and our wisdom solid.

It helps us positively. It helps us weigh situations fairly. Having emotional intelligence does not make us hard-hearted but rather compassionate. It helps us take care of ourselves, both, internally and externally. It helps us create balance in ourselves and our relations by positively moulding our emotions.

Speaking your mind

There is more honesty in straightforwardness than diplomacy and white lies. While being brutally honest might not be considered kind, sugar-coating even grievous issues gives the impression of being a pretender or being feeble-minded.

Either ways, it does not resolve any conflicts and bring well-founded solutions. Being assertive is speaking your mind in a way that is not offensive and at the same time honest.

Sometimes there are situations where you have to do a little more than speaking your mind, be bold and take the bull by its horns!

Being bold and adventurous

Wearing what you want, pursuing what you like without giving heed to what anyone else thinks is being bold and adventurous. It’s a conviction and faith in your choices you make without the need of affirmations.

Sometimes people enjoy dragging you down only because they fail to venture and explore themselves. They will try to put you in the vas of a stereotype. But, you know yourself too well to let it affect you.

Women who take these risks at the cost of being labelled and still stay strong in their conviction are true examples of independent women. She could be a housewife, a waiter or a Ceo. Independent women are not synonymous to being financially independent alone but to think on your feet and think for yourself at any point of time, in any given situation.

5 wise risks independent women take in life. Being independent does not always mean financial independence. It means taking charge of your own life in order to make firm, reasonable decisions. Whether you are working or not, nobody can take the autonomy away from you. Nobody can validate you, except you!

Ring the bell-ding dong!!

Its says be a part of the change and tell us,how you will Ring the bell-I’m tempted to say ding dong or tring on the serious note-just ring the bell and run away.Okay now,seriously speaking seriously.. :p okay,im more sticking out da tongue.. 😛 ..okay,hmm..sush brain,this is a serio..USsss post…

I would like to tell all those people who can read,please stop getting influenced on the ‘bhartiya nari’ concept watching those ‘mindeating’ soap-operas,you could watch operas and feel the essence of beautiful emotions that enhance your respect and understanding of women esp when you use it as an excuse to woo-women.

no,but really,im serious!

keeping a serious face and controlling my grin–bah bah my jaws are aching …

Please DONOT teach the women in your homes-daughter,sister,wife(of couse in case of wife i know you will cringe on my request,okay,u could do it with caution) to be submissive or docile.Because they are so used to being submissive and your constant reinforcements about the same made them condition themselves that thats how they are suppose to react,they will stand confused to situations of molestation or any such atrocities.TEACH THEM THE VALUE OF BEING KICKASS!!! SERIOUSLY-NO KIDDING.please do for your own sanity and their safety.

Encourage women to speak their mind and not be coy and be passive-aggressive.This will strengthen their conviction.

Atrocities that happen not only physically wound a womens body but also her spirit tell her outrageously that she is weak when she is in reality the corner stone of every aspect of a man’s life at every stage!

My humble request to all family members change your very basic perception about what a women is and give her independance that makes her esteem grow stronger and think for her self.Karate and kung fu are not the only solution.Change your mind set about how you treat a women and make the men in your family know about the limitation of content they can have with women they meet in their day-to-day life!

hope my humour also did instill a deep-rooted usher for a brand new change making you open to simple perceptions.Please do try,it aint that difficult.

Toh sathiyoon revolution ki ghanti bajao–

Children of Dysfunctional families

” Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.”

–Khalil Jibran on Children

Jiah Khan’s suicide and couple of blogs and comments on the same in news and media got me children of dysfuntional families deserve a fateful life?Today’s note in hyderabad chronicle about how mommys are asking their boys NOT TO in bold date girls of dysfunctional families.and to add to the woes, this strangeness and the ripple effect of ‘social networking’ to find an opportuinity to network in situations like coming together to light a candle for the atrocious death of hapless victims.The irony is they can take a candle march if there a girl is dying out of rape or murder but what is unacceptable to this ‘society of dissemblers’ is that when children suffer coz their parents are either divorced or seperated or live through unhealthy marriages,the children’s emotional functionality has to be judged and scrutinized only coz they are born of such wedlock.wah re wah ‘selective humanity’.next time you light up a candle for a social cause do gauge your intensity for such causes or is it too a good place for social networking.will not be surprised if one day people find funerals too a place for ‘social networking’ and ‘one-upping’ their social presence.but then the whole point of ‘ being social ‘ or ‘being human’ would be lost,right?Funnily such parents go about their lives either seperated or fighting through but what they selfishly and blisfully ignore is the repurcurssions on the emotional state of the child.It is children who suffer as a result of a dysfunctional marriage.

‘Philosophy’ people assume is some high-flown ornate mentation that people in elite circles like to grace themselves with in their leisure.But in reality,it is what retains the humanity and propels to be the backbone behind the ideas that keep deep-rooted thoughts and sensibilities of existence alive and valuable.When you read emerson’s essays or ben johnson’s ideas on learning and education,they are a proof of a priceless solicited advice which will never get old  regardless of the importance of science,business and technology.The world needs philosophy coz the world needs humanity,coz we might use mighty logic to make machines but we cant live for them,we live for family,friends and ourselves.They are just a useful medium that we seem to obsess about only to communicate with other eathlings.ironic.We need machines to communicate with each other.Like Robin Williams in ‘dead poets society’ enunciates We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, “O me! O life!… of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless… of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?” Answer. That you are here – that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play *goes on* and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?

what will your verse be?not an elegy certainly.What young minds need are fuel to hopeful thoughts and the faith that high-flown ideals are a real deal and not a result of grandiose thinking.Though you never know what happens behind closed doors,making judgement calls on an individual based on where one stands is the epidemic of ignorance that seems to be spreading like wild fire.When children suffer on the account of their parents,who are they supposed to look up to?whatever ideologies and perceptions they develop overtime is it their entire fault?The idea of family in india is unrealistic.So if you have a happy family life you are free to condemn people who dont?and you can anoint them with your feign divinity and pseudo understanding of humanity.Respect your elders they say,but what if the elders are so screwed up,they wont let you live?where are such individuals to find their peace if not home?when people view one’s  credibility in relations esp in terms of family background in things like ‘arranged marriage’,they start reprobating marriage proposals from broken families where the child has grown up with either of the parent due to divorce or any such happening regardless of how well such children might be doing in their respective lives.How many people have been living through bad marriages just coz they dont want that ‘kalank’ of being a divorcee and that they feel it might effect their children’s future?I wonder if we will ever evolve?years gone by colonialization,independance from colonialization but we are still trapped in the nitty-gritties of religion,caste,and ignorance begetting and surrounding these without having even the remotest clue of why they exist and what is their purpose of existence.Children who get beaten mercilessly at a tender age by ‘happy parents’ for not scoring a high grade are likely to have healthy emotional state when they grow just coz their parents give the world the ‘impression’ of loving each other?Alcholism and violence are synonymous when it comes to domestic violence that occurs  as a result of it.But yeah,if you donot resort to social drinking you are moribund primate,right?

Where is our need for humanity amist false ideologies,perceptions,ignorance,myths,superstitions,fears,social acceptions and now the OCD of social networking?and you never know how our human race might get bangjaxed in it’s mind eye over yet another series of flimsy things just coz their importance is widely and wildly felt.I love it that the tradition of America is ‘free spirit’ and their ideologies on ‘American dream’.Their issues are a result of evolution and being progressive and our issues are grave coz they are a result of being ‘regressive.’We dislike the ideas or get all riled up gossiping about ifs and buts of a seemingly member of a dysfunctional families but we do enjoy ‘the family guy’ cartoons and ‘little miss sunshine’.Dysfunctionalities are entertaining,arent they?their quirks and pain entertain until you?but do you really care about their reality?how much of human is left in you?or maybe its acceptable to you and you feel its panache if its a part of a royal or an up-class family?then their dysfunctionality is seems in vogue,right?it entices you and wish you had the same disordered life like them?

Khalil Jibran on children

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

why do we forget?

The shoulder-surfing maniac

“The public have an instatiable curiosity to know everything,except what is worth knowing”-Oscar Wilde.

That said tech-citizenry seem to have been bitten with a pandemic curiosity bug-looking_into_your_screen_while_you_dont_notice.If you are someone in front of the computer,regardless of where you are,you will be accompanied by a rummy sidekick-the shoulder surfer.Shoulder-surfers loves to skim through your  screen and get tid-bits on your modus operandi of workflow and gain insights and stats on whats going on in your workspace.Why this info seems so vital is still non sequitur.Maybe they could re_playwrite ‘waiting for godot’ with their incomprehensible wonder on what are you doing performed in their theatre of the absurd?or mebbe they could get a wiff of your password..sly fellas😛 .

Its absurd how our dependance on techonology has instilled in us archetype insanity and ocd that has no significance in reality,yet we are still party to such eerie behavioural traits leading to identity thefts and what not.Can social engineering change the imploring morbid curious human nature?that wants to know more about insignificant details to underpin mundannes of routine?hasnt technology pushed our vulnarabilities to a newer demented levels where we part a fraction of our time gathering unwanted information..?

Scented Letters

Raptures from the wild clime,                                  

love seasoned as basil-thyme,

mumurs of victimless crime,

being single,happy i’m.

                                  arcane charm,halcyon days,

                                        90’s magic and slambooks,

                                            have switched their place,

                             penning eternal love’s overlooked.

                                                                    cyber woo,

                                                         has a heart of stone,

                                                 fidelity spoofed as home brewed,

                                     Chronicles rendered are well known.

                                                Warm-toned-longing-a real McCoy,

                                         Soul cannot inspirit false implants,

                                               of shammed jump_for_joy,

                                             This ain’t nature’s song and dance.

                                                 Inked in script of emotional virginity,

                                                             off guard moments,

                                                   Miss the burden of vanity,

                                                  Scented Letters were once  lyrical ascents.

                                                                                                                                                                                                  Vaishali Adwant

Guinea Pig Behaviour

My adorable Chumbi and Dumbi

I have never had pets before,coz there were not many options.I never wanted sharp-toothed,noisy pets coz I love my calm and quite.Dogs though faithful and dearly attached,gnaw furniture plus you have to train them etc etc..cats cute and high maintainance.I have always loved animals and birds but mostly prefered them at zoos coz of this main reason.I wanted something cute and cuddly and low maintainance and silent.I cant help but hopelessly adore guinea pigs.I did my bit of research before wanting to have pets.After thinking about hamsters,sheeps,squirrels,fishes,doves,ducks;I settled for guinea pigs.I prefer herbivores,coz i’m a dedicated veggie.

They are so damn cute.They take their own sweet time to trust you and then they are so affectionate.The weeking noise they make is never noisy enough to disturb you.They do that only when they need food.Basicly they make different kind of sounds only with a purpose.They love pigging on food,thats probably the reason these rodents are called pigs.They love eating all day,its their idea of fun and adorable activity.They donot know how to play with various toys.They will either stare at them or get scared and run away.They love to run and stroll and lick almost anything and everything they come across.Curious pets,a sudden big noise can startle them.I had to give them some blankets to burrow in during the time of diwali.They love burrowing.If they see some fabric or garment or even carpet,furniture, they will always go under it and hide.They enjoy doing it,its like their little type of zen meditation.

Chumbi Dumbi and family

I’m so attached to them,they will never pee or poop on you.If they need to attend this duty,they will shake their butts or show some kind of restlessness.I leave them for a little while to do their business and then again pick them.They watch movies,read books with me quietly with avid curiosity.They look cutest when they yawn.They are very sensitive to your feelings.Like dogs they too are fine-tuned to your moods and emotions.If they see me doing some work,they week only once or twice and then sit quietly till they are served their food.

They have the most obedient children.I have seen my piggies little ones blindly follow whatever their adults do and eat and they do it so religiously,it makes you laugh.Any new fruit,edible must be first tested by the adult guinea pig before the little ones attempt to eat it.They always wait for their elder clan to inagurate the item before they can use.These lovely species,though they are foodies,they are never careless eaters.They know whats good for them and they eat only that.If you offer something else,they will only sniff it and go away and not even touch or go near that item as long as it lays there.Such careful,health conscious piggies they are.Theres so much to learn from them.The most well-behaved cultured pet species i have ever come across.I know i will have them for a lifetime.They are no trouble at all.They will never bit you,even if they do it,its only because they are scared,blisfully unaware of aggression towards us.Sweet tempered,lovey-dovey,authentic cuteness.

My piggies Kidos

Because they have very tiny hands and super cute fingers,they cannot get violent with hands,they fight trying to hit each others mouth if the other piggie does something to piss him/her off like wake them up from sleep or accidently scratch or stamp them.Even when they fight,which is very very rare and lasts only for a couple of seconds;You just have to put a towel on fighting piggies,its enough to confuse them and silence them.They usually dont do it in front of human beings also they feel shy to drink water in front of anyone.They do it stealthly when no one is looking or in the night when its dark.I dont know why but its weird and a funny trait they  have.

They do enjoy good music,esp when they get used to it,they can listen for hours without feeling scared or uncomfortable by increase in volume or change of tunes.You can easily figure out the female guinea pig just by her behaviour.Initially I thought they were both males.But only one of them started chasing the other.However the female piggie that I have has a very feminie body language,they way she sits or shows genuine interest and observes me when i’m  doing house chores or watching tele.The male piggie i have is indifferent to all these things,will never bother to watch tele to take interest in the surroundings.Most of his interests are directed only towards food and female species.This is so typical,didnt expect it in guinea pigs too.Looks like all male genders are alike in all species.

They are neatness freaks of sorts.They will clean their mouth and keep cleaning themselves esp after they’re done eating or scratching or any activity.They will never share food.They are like Joey tribiani when it comes to food.The funniest part is their jumping time.When they are happy they jump on all their 4 feet ,it looks like they are having seizure but they are actually happy.They roll their heads,jump and run keep making continuous chatty noise like they are talking.When the male wants to attract his female,he rumble struts, i.e,he literally dances around her to get her attention.

They are neither smelly,nor messy or noisey.Occassionally I give them baths which they seem to enjoy and cooperate without trying to run or jump.They do get jealous when they see me petting the other one,they start grinding their teeth,you can hear it,its amusing.They make such ideal pets even if you are busy whole day.I leave them in lot of grass and some carrots and cucumber they can keep eating whole day.Its cheap,low maintainance.If you talk to them they will look at your face and pay attention to what you are saying as if trying to figure out.I can go on and all.They are so well-behaved,you dont have to train them for anything.I decided to call them Chumbi and Dumbi and their little ones itti,bitti,titti committee.Naming pets is something i didnt like doing coz i keep calling them with various names.’Tinglie’ is esp a common variety of name that i call all small creatures.They are sensitive and you have to take good care of them.All you have to do is handle them sweetly and gently and they will give you lots of love and attention.I never liked anything cute and sweet before but these sweetpeas are my exceptions,their cuteness and innocence is 100% genuine and heartfelt.They my special darlings and always will be.

Here’s my first video of my Chumbi and Dumbi that I shot for youtube, when i bought them home,enjoy!

The instant good life!!

42 is not the answer to the meaning of life,humorously sufficed in hitchiker’s guide to galaxy.A constant good mood and pleasant spirit builds a good life and that happens when humour becomes a regular part of life.They say FB is addictive and dramatic but I have always found the online social space quite useful.Not only to form new like-minded relations but also add humour and inspiration to my life on a day to day basis.Those mirthful pages and those inspirational posts in them,so effortless and adding value to my life.Dont have to commute or pay a single penny to draw life’s inspirations from these various posts.Sharing what I like and made me laugh with the rest of them has become a part of my routine virtual reality.I’d say you dont have to wait for the scheduled comedy central on the tele,or wait for a person to make you laugh or smile.You can find it all at any time,at your disposal.Regardless of how many people keep pushing your buttons on a day-to-day basis,humorous and inspirational posts just do the righteous work of bouncing your spirits back and give you that instant good life!

Also it is magical when you consciously decide to let go certain people who create unnecessary drama and negativity in your life and are only waiting to bring out the worst in you;you instantly feel so positive and energitic.Also telling someone point blank,esp who has been causing unrest detriment to your personal and spiritual progress and well being is like cleasing aura instantly.The enthu created in a jiffy only works towards strengthening your moxie! and that is the true spirit of life!Not always an easy decision,but you gotta do what you gotta do!!

Currency notes or post-its?

People in india are such literary geniuses that they dont even spare the currency notes from their authorship.From crazy poems to shopping list items,names of lovers with heart shapes in blue ink;you find it all on the currency notes.Dont we have any respect for money?Not only is it wrong to do that RBI cannot use such notes for official transcations and thousands of crores of rupees are thus wasted.We educate people about family planning,career councelling.We should have a digital notice board of sorts in every city and town which can spread such awareness so that people can read such important stuff while commuting.if you want an outlet in writing theres this massive thing on internet called-blogging!and available in all languages.Since people can write,they most certainly can blog as well.They’d rather convert their passion for writing a rather fruitful activity and show respect towards currency notes.have handy organizer for shopping,grocery list etc instead of wasting it on folding money.