This is going to be a melange of a pun-periodic ranging from simple instances to some scenes in movies.While I was watching hannibal the cannibal movie,I was wondering what kind of spoof can one make of this movie.Human-eat-Human in rat race is real but this movie has taken that fact quite literally.
Some useful characterstics of Hannibal Lector:
1.How do you reduce the population?
2.How do you ge rid of wannabes,imposters,phoneys
3.Where to learn classic letter writing?
Ans:Hannibal Lecture classes
4.What is the only thing that Hannibal Lecter does not eat?
Ans:Himself and probably Agent Clarice Starling
5.What happens when you mess with Hannibal lecter
Ans:He’ll chew you alive (Eg: Mason Verger)
6.How do you get rid of a bad government?
7.What is the potential of Hannibal in politics?
Ans:Potent potential.He eats bad people,clears the bad traffic.common ppl vote for the criminal-eating leader.
8.What is the most dangerous weapon of Hannibal?
9.What tooth-paste does Hannibal Lector use?
Ans: Vico-dunt mangan
10.Does Hannibal ever suffer a tooth Decay?
Ans:He flosses.So much for the passion of human consumption.
11.What does Hannibal lecter regret?
Ans:Not being able to eat Ghosts.
12.Whats Hannibal’s secret fantasy?
Ans:If ghosts had form,he’d broaden his law of consumption.
13.Who inspired Hannibal to kill?
Ans:God,it seems.This is his rambling philosophy of dry-gulching.”Tell me, Will. Did you enjoy it? Your first murder? Of course you did. And why shouldn’t it feel good? It does to God. Why only last week in Texas, he dropped a church roof on the heads of 34 of his worshippers, just as they were groveling for him. He wouldn’t begrudge you for one Journalist.”
14.Why isnt Hannibal aware of raksha-bandhan(festival)?
Ans:ground forces ate his sister
15.Is Hannibal an ardent fan of gluttony?
Ans:Yes.Ask dead people
16.What is height of gluttony?
17.Whos is Hannibal’s Best pal?
Ans: Count Dracula
18.Who’d Invite Hannibal for a tête-à-tête?
Ans: Dracula and the Twilight goofy moron
19.What happens at this dinner?
Ans:Both, Lecter and Dracula deride Edward Cullan on being a pea brain traitor. Hannibal lecter rambles in his famous style-“Then here’s one… you stink of fear under that cheap lotion. You stink of fear Ed, and you’re a sissy coward. You fear me, but still you came here. You fear, shy boy, yet still you seek Bella. Don’t you understand, Ed?
Dracula to Hannibal:You came here because we’re very much alike. Without our imaginations, we’d be like Ed and all those other poor… dullards.
20.How will Lecter’s Law of Consumption effect human economy?
Ans:Ppl,who are the leftovers of Lecter will enjoy the riches of the world economy.
21.How will Steve Jobs react to this?
Ans:He’ll innovate Lecter-degenerating gadget with complex features and slick -chew resistent model.
22.What will Bill gates do?
Ans: Copy-Paste under .exe extension of this file
23.Why will the world not come to a doom?
Ans: cause we can ctrl+c and Ctrl+v
24.Why will only techie guys survive in Hannibal’s reign?
Ans:Hannibal is computer illiterate.He only likes art.Strong likes led to his doom.
25.Who all will come together to annihilate Lecter?
Ans:Steve Jobs,Noam Chomsky,Dr.Edward Nygma aka Riddler,Vogons,Optimus Prime team(He doesnt eat robots-hehe)
26.What certificate will be awarded to Hannibal?
The singular gluttoneous solution to all mind-blogging problems in the world-Hannibal the Cannibal’s philosophy of consumption.
Later leading to his doom for over doing it.Never re-do or over-do,just do it!