Tagged: ben johnson

Children of Dysfunctional families

” Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.”

–Khalil Jibran on Children

Jiah Khan’s suicide and couple of blogs and comments on the same in news and media got me thinking..do children of dysfuntional families deserve a fateful life?Today’s note in hyderabad chronicle about how mommys are asking their boys NOT TO in bold date girls of dysfunctional families.and to add to the woes, this strangeness and the ripple effect of ‘social networking’ to find an opportuinity to network in situations like coming together to light a candle for the atrocious death of hapless victims.The irony is they can take a candle march if there a girl is dying out of rape or murder but what is unacceptable to this ‘society of dissemblers’ is that when children suffer coz their parents are either divorced or seperated or live through unhealthy marriages,the children’s emotional functionality has to be judged and scrutinized only coz they are born of such wedlock.wah re wah ‘selective humanity’.next time you light up a candle for a social cause do gauge your intensity for such causes or is it too a good place for social networking.will not be surprised if one day people find funerals too a place for ‘social networking’ and ‘one-upping’ their social presence.but then the whole point of ‘ being social ‘ or ‘being human’ would be lost,right?Funnily such parents go about their lives either seperated or fighting through but what they selfishly and blisfully ignore is the repurcurssions on the emotional state of the child.It is children who suffer as a result of a dysfunctional marriage.

‘Philosophy’ people assume is some high-flown ornate mentation that people in elite circles like to grace themselves with in their leisure.But in reality,it is what retains the humanity and propels to be the backbone behind the ideas that keep deep-rooted thoughts and sensibilities of existence alive and valuable.When you read emerson’s essays or ben johnson’s ideas on learning and education,they are a proof of a priceless solicited advice which will never get old  regardless of the importance of science,business and technology.The world needs philosophy coz the world needs humanity,coz we might use mighty logic to make machines but we cant live for them,we live for family,friends and ourselves.They are just a useful medium that we seem to obsess about only to communicate with other eathlings.ironic.We need machines to communicate with each other.Like Robin Williams in ‘dead poets society’ enunciates We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, “O me! O life!… of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless… of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?” Answer. That you are here – that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play *goes on* and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?

what will your verse be?not an elegy certainly.What young minds need are fuel to hopeful thoughts and the faith that high-flown ideals are a real deal and not a result of grandiose thinking.Though you never know what happens behind closed doors,making judgement calls on an individual based on where one stands is the epidemic of ignorance that seems to be spreading like wild fire.When children suffer on the account of their parents,who are they supposed to look up to?whatever ideologies and perceptions they develop overtime is it their entire fault?The idea of family in india is unrealistic.So if you have a happy family life you are free to condemn people who dont?and you can anoint them with your feign divinity and pseudo understanding of humanity.Respect your elders they say,but what if the elders are so screwed up,they wont let you live?where are such individuals to find their peace if not home?when people view one’s  credibility in relations esp in terms of family background in things like ‘arranged marriage’,they start reprobating marriage proposals from broken families where the child has grown up with either of the parent due to divorce or any such happening regardless of how well such children might be doing in their respective lives.How many people have been living through bad marriages just coz they dont want that ‘kalank’ of being a divorcee and that they feel it might effect their children’s future?I wonder if we will ever evolve?years gone by colonialization,independance from colonialization but we are still trapped in the nitty-gritties of religion,caste,and ignorance begetting and surrounding these without having even the remotest clue of why they exist and what is their purpose of existence.Children who get beaten mercilessly at a tender age by ‘happy parents’ for not scoring a high grade are likely to have healthy emotional state when they grow just coz their parents give the world the ‘impression’ of loving each other?Alcholism and violence are synonymous when it comes to domestic violence that occurs  as a result of it.But yeah,if you donot resort to social drinking you are moribund primate,right?

Where is our need for humanity amist false ideologies,perceptions,ignorance,myths,superstitions,fears,social acceptions and now the OCD of social networking?and you never know how our human race might get bangjaxed in it’s mind eye over yet another series of flimsy things just coz their importance is widely and wildly felt.I love it that the tradition of America is ‘free spirit’ and their ideologies on ‘American dream’.Their issues are a result of evolution and being progressive and our issues are grave coz they are a result of being ‘regressive.’We dislike the ideas or get all riled up gossiping about ifs and buts of a seemingly member of a dysfunctional families but we do enjoy ‘the family guy’ cartoons and ‘little miss sunshine’.Dysfunctionalities are entertaining,arent they?their quirks and pain entertain until you?but do you really care about their reality?how much of human is left in you?or maybe its acceptable to you and you feel its panache if its a part of a royal or an up-class family?then their dysfunctionality is seems in vogue,right?it entices you and wish you had the same disordered life like them?

Khalil Jibran on children

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

why do we forget?